Grief is weird

I keep telling people I feel crazy, my emotions are so all over the place it is unreal. One moment I am perfectly fine and I am able to hold a conversation about anything and everything, and the next upset and crying so hard I can’t catch my breath. There is no rhyme or reason for it. It just happens. I’m in a permanent state of exhaustion, I’m just trying my best to keep pushing forward for the kids. This weekend is our daughters 1st dance competition, I’m excited for her, but I know she’ll be missing her Daddy. You should have been there for that, I still can’t believe you are gone. In my moments of insanity, things will come to my mind, things that I know are somewhere in the house and I become preoccupied with finding them and protecting them. I rearranged the whole garage today looking for something, and then I felt really stupid because it probably could have waited, it’s almost as if I think these things are going to make me feel closer to him, but they don’t. He’s gone, and we won’t have him back and no piece of mail, or shirt, or truck is going to change that. Tomorrow is a new day.

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